To maximize the probability of either having your case thrown out prior to trial or even if a Grand Jury indicts and you go to trial – here is the best way to be found not guilty:
- If you are the accused, it will work to your advantage if you are white or partially white – with maybe a little Hispanic thrown in.
- Have an influential dad – maybe a retired magistrate who can pull a few strings for you from time to time.
- Have a good friend of your dad who is influential – maybe a District Attorney who can visit you in jail when you are being questioned by the police because you were involved in a homicide – ideally, this friend will be a long time friend of your father – this is all fair because you are white and privileged, right?
- Have a strong reason for your actions that can be used in a court of law but make everyone believe that reason can also be applied at the scene of the crime as a defense so you will not get arrested or tested for drugs. One strong reason you could use because you are “white” is the, “Stand your Ground” defense.
- Make sure the victim does not live to tell his side of the story – as the saying goes, “a dead man cannot talk.”
- Ideally, make sure the victim is black, looks threatening, and is wearing a hoodie.
- Have the location of the altercation be where other blacks have committed burglaries in recent months – that will justify you being on high alert and not be accused of racial profiling.
- Make sure you are carrying a concealed weapon in case the other person gets the upper hand on you – that way you can shoot and kill him, claim self-defense and the victim will not be alive to tell his side of the story to dispute your claim. How do you say, “Perfect Crime?”
- Make sure the media know the victim was younger, taller, more muscular, and in excellent health – that will help your claim of you being the victim.
- Have a good friend who will stand up for you and keep telling the same story on your behalf, over and over, to the media. It helps if Nancy Grace and Jane Velez-Mitchell give this friend the opportunity to defend you again and again – afte rall, if Queen Nancy lets your friend talk, you must be innocent. Also, it will benefit you if you friend is like Frank Taaffe, a person who constantly attacks others when they are interviewed and ctiticizes them because they were not there when George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin got into the altercation – yet Frank Taaffe talks as though he was there that night acting as a referee. Talk show hosts give Frank Taaffe the benefit of the doubt and let him talk at times as long as he wants to.
- If you have a criminal past, make sure your influential daddy gets all the court records sealed all along the way – things like domestic abuse, evading arrest and assaulting an officer.
- Lastly, keep discussions focused on things like, “He attacked me and I feared for my life.” Another thing to keep discussing is, “Who was on top,” and “When did Trayvon become the aggressor?”
- Don’t ever let the discussions shift to how the dispatcher told you to not follow the suspect or for you to get back into your vehicle or for you to wait for the police to arrive – those topics could make the jury think you might be guilty of something – God forbid.
The above list should help you avoid prosecution or even community service and maybe even being sued in civil court – after all you are white and privileged and the “Stand your Ground” law was passed for situations just like the Trayvon Martin shooting.
Who knows, by the time the smoke clears, you might be chosen for Time Magazine’s Man of the Year – after all, you survived a brutal beating and lived to tell about it. How sad!